How To Freeze Your Dog

Table of Contents

So, You Want To Freeze Your Dog...

For whatever reason, you've come across a page dedicated to the safe and simple process of freezing your dog. You might live in the city, where it's difficult to raise a dog. Freezing it lets you keep it until you get a chance to move out into the country. Or, you may have been given a puppy for a present and don't have time to find a new home for it. Freezing the dog keeps it from being neglected while letting you decide what to do with it. Maybe you really like your dog, and you want to make its life longer. You can freeze it every once in a while, thawing it out when you want its company again.

Some people have come to me and said "I want to go on a vacation for a few months. Trying to find a good kennel for Sparks is a lot harder than I thought. If only there were a way to store my dog while I'm away while not putting the burden on friends or relatives."

Freezing your dog is a valid life choice, and depending on your current situation, it may be the right life choice for you. Not only is it safe and painless for the dog and yourself, but it is also quite a cost effective procedure. While your dog is frozen, it will not require costly dog food and costly water. And as an added bonus it will not need to be pooper-scooped after. Throw away those doggy-doo bags!

Visit the gallery to see photos and testimonials!

Things You Should Know Before Freezing Your Dog

Every dog owner is obviously concerned at the thought of putting their puppy on ice. Before following through with the rest of this guide, consider the following things:

I'm Ready To Freeze My Dog

Things you will need: Preparation:
  1. Using the dog shears, shave your dog until it is completely bare. Your dog's hair, aside from being soft and furry, acts as an insulator to hot and cold. For successful freezing, you need to get your dog as cold as possible as fast as possible. Sure, your dog will look a little ugly, but soon it will be frozen and you won't have to look at it until it's time to thaw.
  2. Get your dog to drink as much of the chilled water as possible. The chilled water will begin the cooling process. It helps if you let your dog get a little bit thirsty first. Take it for a walk or play fetch with it for a few hours beforehand. It will be very happy to drink up all of the chilled water.
  3. Wait until your dog goes to sleep. If it has a sleeping pattern, align your freezing process to coincide with the time he is fast asleep. A sleeping dog is an easy dog to freeze. Be very careful not to wake your dog during handling. But it is not a major setback if it wakes up. Just let it fall back asleep and soon you will have another chance.
  4. Put your sleeping dog into the plastic bag and seal it.
  5. Gently put it into the freezer, gently, easy, there we go. Good job. If you live in a cold environment (-10C maximum) you can use a shallow hole in the snow or dirt or a wooden box or also a metal box.
  6. Quietly place some of the freezer food ontop of your dog to accelerate the freezing process. Items that work well are frozen peas, frozen caserole, large blocks of ice or ice cubes. Items that do not work so well are porus things such as frozen bread or frozen buns.
  7. Gently lower the freezer door. If you are living in a cold environment, put some sticks or lumber over the freeze site as to not attract attention from nosey neighbours.
  8. If you hear rustling in the freezer or near your freeze site if you live in a cold environment, check to make sure things are OK. Make sure any children you may have do not disturb the dog while the initial freezing is taking place. If the dog is being frozen outside, make sure no scavenging animals come across it. But do not shoot guns at the scavenging animals. This may wake up your sleeping dog if it is not yet frozen. Instead, silently shoo them away with a broom or long stick. If they perist at the freeze site, you may want to relocate.

Troubleshooting

My dog did not freeze. What did I do wrong?

You must make sure you are freezing your dog in an atmosphere with a maximum temperature of -10C. Also, check that your dog drank some of the chilled water. Sometimes a dog will be wise enough to know you are going to freeze it for a while, and it will pretend to lick the water to trick you.

It was dark and I accidentally froze my cat or other furry animal instead of my dog. What should I do?

Do not worry. These things happen. If you have accidentally frozen your cat or hampster, just throw it away. Only dogs can be successfully frozen and thawed in this manner. If you freeze and thaw a different animal, it will be crazy and will try to bite you or nibble you in your sleep. So it is smart in this case to either leave it frozen for the good of society, or take it to an animal shelter. A bigger problem might arise if you have accidentally frozen one of your small children or one of someone else's small children. It is always best to confess your error and inform the proper authorities. They will know which action is best to take. Thawing a frozen child is a difficult process. While it isn't impossible, it can lead to many complications such as the child hating you, or the child being forever afraid of freezers and fridges. This is not good if you ever want the child to fetch you a cold beer or put the milk away.

I forgot to shave my dog before I let him drink the chilled water. Do I need to restart the entire process?

Do not be alarmed if you get these steps mixed up. You are not a very smart person in the first place. If you have not shaved your dog before you let it drink the chilled water, simply wait until the next day and restart the process. If you are in a real fix for time and need to freeze your dog, try shaving it, give it some excercise so it gets thirsty again, and try to give it more chilled water. It may have to urinate due to the previous water. This is natural.

Frequently Asked Questions

I thought only certain types of frogs and amphibians could be frozen and then thawed with no bad side effects. Are you sure you know what you're talking about?

I've been reading medical journals and magazines for over 3 years. I have certainly done my share of research. I often think of myself as a self-titled Scientist Of Various Activities. Do not worry, frogs, dogs, it sounds the same. Just some different letters at the beginning of the word. Ask yourself this, do frogs bark? No. Frogs croak. Dogs bark.

I'd really like to freeze my cat. Dogs and cats seem so similar, I don't see what the difference could be. What would you suggest?

Please, do not freeze your cat. First of all, I like cats more than I like dogs. Second, cats have thin fur that is hard to shave off. Dogs have thick fur that doesn't get caught in the shears. Third, cats do not sleep as soundly as most dogs. Fourth, cats would need chilled milk to begin the freezing process. This is certainly more expensive than chilled water. Would you really consider spending more money than you need to? I didn't think so.

How did I manage to come across this strange web page?

You're a sicko. You were searching the internet for information about frozen hotdogs. Please do not search for this type of information. It does not benefit our society in any way.